Jul 202010
 

The Dove.

I received a message from Bruce Mumper of CC Fresno. I appreciate him reaching out to me and to all who participate on this forum. I believe it is a good thing to show concern publicly for victims and to make a public statement that Truth is important.

 

Dear Alex,

I’ve read through your website this morning and felt compelled, both personally and as a local Calvary Chapel pastor, to express my concern and compassion for your family situation.  I don’t take the Fresno Bee so I wasn’t aware of the article until somebody mentioned it to me last night.  No doubt I’ll be dealing with “inquiring minds” in weeks to come.  I can’t possibly know the validity of your allegations against Bob but, I’m well aware that “innocent until proven guilty” goes both ways.  For this reason, I mustn’t assume that Bob is the “abuser” that you describe nor, that you are the “embittered, underhanded, tool of the devil” that many “loyal” Calvary Chapelites will assume you to be when they hear of what you’re now doing. I do know that, if even a portion of your allegations of physical and psychological abuse were true, then I can only guess at the emotional sufferings that you’ve gone through. If you’ve lived under such circumstances then I am grateful that you still have your hope in God for your healing.

As far as the concerns you’ve expressed on your website about the Calvary Chapel “non-denominational denomination”, personally, I’m not selling, nor sold on, Calvary Chapel as a church franchise or a pure model for ministry.  I think that many of your concerns, and the concerns of other “Calvary Chapel Recovery” websites that I’ve read through, are quite valid.  I couldn’t agree more.  Accountability is essential for credibility.  I do know, from personal experience, that many pastors aren’t nearly as “transformed” as their celebrated testimonies would indicate.  They are not emotionally secure nor psychologically stable people.  They may be gifted speakers but they still bear the scars of their own painful past.  God’s word still works through them but they’ve never allowed it to do the necessary, and often painful work, on them.  They feed the flock with God’s word but it seems that they themselves feed off of something that they get from being the “big fish” in a small pond.  Thus, getting “caught” and lifted out into the light is their greatest dread.  But in Truth, it’s their greatest need.  “I will make you fisher’s of men,”  and, “The Truth shall set you free.”  I pray that you, and all who visit your website, will seek that Truth and find that freedom.  It’s good to know that we’re not alone!!!!
Feel free to post this on your website if you think it would be helpful to anybody.  I’m forwarding a copy to Bob in prayers that your family might somehow be made whole.
With deep concern and prayerful support,
Bruce Mumper
Calvary Chapel of Fresno
 Posted by at 4:28 pm
Jul 122010
 

Spiritually abusive counseling leaves lasting scars.

A pastor and his elders have an enormous responsibility. They have power over people as trusted “men of God”…they profess such from the pulpit, they have a Calvary Chapel Dove hanging on their building that gives the impression they have been endorsed by Chuck Smith and the Calvary Chapel Movement.

There is an “implied guarantee” if you will, in my opinion (and the opinion of many others). When this “power” is handed over willy nilly, and when the “power” is not monitored properly and when there are not healthy accountability checks and balances in place, these are the kinds of things that can happen.

This eyewitness testimony illustrates what is wrong with the current system of non-accountability. This should NEVER happen, should never go un-dealt with. A pastor and elder who does these things should lose their “power”…simple as that.

Eyewitness:

“I have only lived a small part of bobs wrath…but I need to explain to you how it felt and still feels. Bob, Greg and Sue, it feels like I was raped by all of them. they took every thing from me, ripped me apart and never put me back together again. Yet when I tried to tell people what was going on, they would say it was my fault. Have you ever seen a movie where a young girl is raped and no one believes her, the pain and misery she goes through…. That is me.
The outcome of all this, is my amazing husband and his love for me, not giving up, Bob had him for a bit, But, XXXXXXXX finally “woke up” as we call it…”

My heart grieves for this woman and her family. I was an eyewitness behind the scenes as this tragic story played out. Bob Grenier and the Dowds (Calvary Chapel pastor and elder) tape-recorded the counseling sessions. I, and others, heard the tapes with our own ears. I witnessed Bob listening to the tapes over and over, taking a sick pleasure (in my opinion) from having this “power” over these people.

I was too young, too scared, too unprepared, too unequipped when it was happening to do anything about it then. Pastoral Standards are in the Bible for a reason…so are accountability measures.

 Posted by at 11:17 am
Jul 102010
 

Cult-like counseling causes damage to the Church Body and should not be tolerated.

“Cult” is certainly a loaded word. The title conjures powerful connotations and apprehension and should never be used lightly when describing a religious group or a religious leader.

However, when the shoe fits…it is an important word. A word of caution and a word of powerful warning.

The dictionary defines Cult this way: A religion or religious sect generally considered to be extremist or false, with its followers often living in an unconventional manner under the guidance of an authoritarian, charismatic leader.

For years, I and my brothers and others have personally witnessed many cult-like tendencies and practices employed by Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia and his close surrogates. The examples are grotesque, they turn my stomach. Following are two terrible examples and I share them so you may learn…take warning…and not allow these things to happen in your church.

“I don’t know how much Paul has told you about our family’s story (the XXXXXX)  but here is the short version.  My mom came to them about going to the police to turn my stepdad in for finally admitting to her that he had molested me since I was 8 years old and Bob told her to keep it quiet, never to go to the police and that the only counseling she would receive was marriage counseling and that NO ONE wanted to even hear what I had to say!  When she asked if they were mandated reporters they were furious.  Which is disgusting since they knew that my underage sisters were all still living in that house!

Anyway, a series of rude agressive phone calls followed (pratically threatening my mom to keep her mouth shut) and when my mom and I did go to the police, Bob called my husband and told him he needed to get me away from my mom, that she was acting crazy and it was so wrong that she was taking me to the police.  On an interesting and sad side note, my husband went to Bob’s house that night and said these words to him “If you found out someone had abused your sons, wouldn’t you go straight to the police??”  I guess we know now that his answer would be “No way!!”

So, we all got kicked out of Calvary and I mean literally taken aside and told not to come back!!  Which I couldn’t be more grateful for now!!  You can’t believe how many people have heard our story since then and said that the only reason a pastor would be so adamant that child abuse be kept a secret is if was a child abuser!!!”

Here is the recounting of another terrible story of cult-like counseling from an eyewitness:

“There was a point that Sue Dowds told me, that I was not to question her in any way. If I did I was in sin, and I needed to repent now… I just looked at her thinking She is off her rocker, Im not aloud to question her. But, of couse I didnt say anything. Just wanted to get through the moment and “survive”

I was given a list of who my friends could be….. how controlling is that.

I was also told how to dress, not allowed to show my arms. Visalia summer no tank tops”

The above examples should never happen at a Calvary Chapel..and make me righteously angry. I do not accept that this is tolerable behavior by a sitting Calvary Chapel pastor and his surrogates. I strongly encourage Pastors and Leaders in the CC Movement to unite together and denounce this sort of cult-like counseling…all stemming from the leadership of pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia.

 Posted by at 9:42 pm
Jul 072010
 

Where's Waldo? Can you find the "Prophet"?

John Higgins, the charismatic leader of the Shiloh commune in Dexter, Oregon, received this letter from his “elders”…full of Scriptural justification and the rationale behind the rebuke…and the promise to go public if he didn’t submit to Scripture.

Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia came up through Shiloh. IMO, Bob’s name would have been on this letter had he been an “elder”…I have seen Bob use Scripture to “rebuke” many others before…yet when the shoe is on the other foot (Bob’s foot)…he denies the authority of Scripture and lies and spins.

Here it is copied and pasted: You can also view it at Shilohtalk Yahoo group in the Attachment section for the date of Nov. 22, 2009.
===========================================

John:
We the co-elders of the Shiloh Ministry, find it necessary to confront you with a protest in regard to the way you have in the past, and at the present time, pastored this ministry. We find no other solution to the serious problems that exist, than to ask you to resign from your position and repent to the body ministry for the sins of lordship over the flock, mismanagement of funds, respect of persons, stubbornness, sowing discord and false teaching. The Bible gives us this power throughout the New Testament by stating in I Timothy 5:19 & 20 that we have the power to accuse you and rebuke you “before all.” We will do this if you do not receive this rebuke of the Holy Ghost.
You have established yourself as an Old Testament King with absolute power, refusing the counsel God has established. You have strayed from the scriptures in this belief, and due to your delusion of exclusive power, have meticulously sought to use unscrupulous political manuvering to force us out and to pit us against each other causing much confusion, which is not of God (I Corinthians 14:33).
We resist you in Jesus’ name, with clear conscience in Him that we are not in rebellion, but rather in obedience to God’s word being faithful to the responsibi1ity to God’s people of this ministry to protect them.

We wil1 spare you the embarrassment of exposing specific evidence of your neglect of the flock (your immediate neglect–us–as well as the rest of the body), and erratic behavior manifested in so many ways: paranoia, to financial and spiritual elevation of yourself to the point of being lord over God’s flock (I Peter 5:3).
We are not confronting you with specific incidents or occurances so that you might spare yourself the shame, but hope and pray that you will not resist God’s Spirit. We are ready, should you resist, to take all these specific details to the whole body (Luke 12:3, “proclaimed upon the housetops”). At the same time you are reading this in our presence, the people are simultaneously being notified in the houses and fellowships of our actions and feelings. They are being encouraged to support this stand.

We have anticipated your retaliation and by God have been instructed what actions to take. We warn you, that our view of your unscriptural ruling and erratic governing of this ministry is shared by many people in responsible positions, both in the houses, fellowships and staff people.

We await your repentance in response to this rebuke, and pray that God will give you the ability to humble yourself before the brethren and confess your faults. We also assure you of our love to you, which cannot be questioned because of our past 8-10 years of submission and support. Again, we are persuaded of God that we will accept no alternative but your resignation.
Jerry Frink, Larry Pilgrim, George Bryson, Kevin Sweeney, Paul Schroeder, David Stewart, Ken Ortize and Dean Camarda

 Posted by at 11:04 am
Jul 032010
 

"Worthy of his hire...or living high on the Lamb?"

“A worker is worthy of his hire”…that is a verse Bob Grenier, Pastor of Calvary Chapel Visalia, has used many times over the years to justify his compensation. He must be really worthy.

Bob receives a healthy salary and in addition, according to inside sources, he receives approximately $1,800 per month in retirement. According to my brother Paul, he estimates Bob’s retirement account over six years ago was north of $500,000 (depending on investment performance over the last six years, it is still a substantial nest egg).

Sources confirm that Bob receives the following: book allowance, housing allowance, one extra month’s paid vacation, car allowance, insurance, gas, regular cleaning of the car, gym membership, cell phone, satellite radio, suits, luggage, gifts for pastor buddies each Christmas (nice ones)…and  this is not a complete list.

“Each pastor received the equivalent of one month’s salary to be used to take a vacation.  This on top of the time off being paid for,” according to insiders.

One source says virtually “everything” is paid for and though Bob’s vehicle was “the church’s”…he was the only one allowed to use it…”[CCV paid for] on-star, and any and all maintenance for the vehicle.  Keep in mind that as far as the board and Bob were concerned it was the church’s vehicle.  But along with that he never logged mileage properly, nor could anyone else ever use it for church business.”

Clothing was among other regular CCV purchases on Bob’s behalf. Sources detailed, “Regarding travel…clothing and luggage were purchased by the church whenever Bob deemed necessary based on trips they were taking sometimes to other climates when they needed different clothes.  Again this was all paid for by the church and never out of his own pocket.”

Bob has many pastor friends…and it’s no wonder. Insiders report, “At Christmas time, the church paid for nice gifts for all of his Pastor friends anywhere from eight to twelve different men.  Again paid for by the church, but it was his Christmas gift to them.”

It is estimated by sources that salaries at CCV took over 50% of the annual budget. Sources also confirm that my mom and her close friend receive a salary to operate the Calvary Cafe, which operates at a deficit. According to insiders, Bob and my mom have full use of the church credit card with no approval needed. This is in addition to multiple insiders confirming $150 to $400 in “petty cash” being taken for each “ministry trip”…often jaunts to Southern California, other parts of the U.S. or around the world. Paul testifies that he has witnessed cash purchases of many “personal” items that directly and only benefited Bob and my mom and Paul in many instances. According to Paul, he was the recipient of many items purchased with “cash from the church envelope”…and specifically cites a nice pair of expensive sunglasses purchased at South Coast Plaza courtesy of the givers at Calvary Chapel Visalia.

 Posted by at 10:16 pm
Jul 032010
 

"Don't rewrite history...."

This is an email my brother Geoff sent to my mom last year. IMO, Geoff has been very gracious to Bob…and Bob has taken advantage of that graciousness by minimizing his abusiveness, glossing it over as his “temper”…while lying and saying specifics “didn’t happen”. Bob wants to wave a magic wand and say, “I repented”…repented of what? Specifically? Ask Bob and he won’t tell you. He’ll minimize and just say, “It’s a family matter”…yet within the family…he says he didn’t abuse and didn’t do any of the specific abusive actions. That is lying and denying the abuse in my book. You can’t “repent” if you don’t cop to the actions. Gary Ruff, Bob’s board member and pastor of Calvary Chapel Foothills agreed in a conversation with me months ago that “Bob can’t have repented if he is currently lying”…well, Bob is currently lying. Geoff now sees things a bit differently since this email…as he is beginning to see Bob’s duplicity and lying and non-apology apology and non-repentance repentance for what it is. Bob did just enough with Geoff to get in good with him, in case Geoff made it big. Then later, when we confronted the abuse within the family, Bob cut Geoff off faster than you can say, “don’t touch God’s anointed”…when Geoff wouldn’t lie and cover for him.

So, Bob…what did you apologize to Geoff for back in 1995? What specifically? What do you mean when you say you “had a temper problem”…how did that manifest itself practically? You won’t get a straight answer. You’ll get spin and B.S. and/or outright lying. Bob’s now on the, “It’s a family matter…” mantra and hiding behind Geoff’s request in this email. Typical Bob…find something you like and deflect the responsibility to another person…(BOB: “well, I’m just doing what Geoff asked me to do…”) OK, then do the other stuff Geoff has asked you to do…meet with me and all your accusers in front of your board and elders with Pastor Dave Rolph of CC Pacific Hills as mediator.

“Mom.
>
> I have not participated in this blog that seems to be running rampant other than reading a few postings. I do speak to Paul and Alex frequently, and they informed me that you told a lady named Elizabeth Amend that “We were all liars, and that no child abuse ever occurred.”
>
> If this is true I am going to be forced to defend my brothers accusations. I have always maintained privately and publicly that Bob called me in 1995 and “made his peace with me” regarding the abuse inflicted upon me as a child and teenager. He was crying, acknowledged it, apologized for it, and I have forgiven him. And for the next 9 years you and Bob and myself continued to have our on again-off again relationship.
>
> I still maintain that that issue is behind me and Bob. You can use this email as proof to that. What I do not understand is how you guys have since tried to re-write history and diminish what occurred and minimize it when Alex and Paul try to address it. The last time I was around you even tried to coerce me into agreeing that it “Was not that bad and it didn’t happen the way Alex described it.” Well, the truth is, it did!!!
>
> Bob has made his peace with me and I still forgive him. It’s a dead issue between us. Bob needs to address it and reconcile with Alex and Paul. EVERYTHING ALEX DESCRIBED IN HIS LETTER TO BOB HAPPENED!!!!!!! PERIOD.
>
> If you choose to lie and say it never happened and that Alex and Paul are lying I am prepared to produce a laundry list of people including neighbors, coaches, ex classmates (who used to make fun of the welts on my butt, back and legs, in the showers) and friends that I confided in real time while it was going on. There are also two people that witnessed first hand me being screamed at and smacked in the face repeatedly while I was forced to hold my hands to my side.
>
> I certainly to not want to re-open these wounds, nor is it my intention to humiliate Bob for something he has already resolved with me personally. The fact is I don’t even have an issue with Bob (besides his handling of the Grandma Ruth situation and the ongoing feuds with Alex and Paul), he has treated me with respect, kindness and even a level of humility since the late 90′s. It’s you Gayle that I am  beyond let down by! You have treated your sons no better than XXXXXX did when he let you pack us on a plane and fly across country only to see us sporadically for the rest of his life. We are your blood, we still all love you and want to see you. Quit being a doormat and see your grandchildren! They are amazing. You and Bob are even invited to come visit me in XXXXXXXXX just for coffee to see how we are all doing. Christians do not deal in absolutes or ultimatums, please remind yourself and Bob of that. Wasn’t Jesus all about grace and love?
>
> Finally, Bob.. one of the last times I spoke to you I pleaded with you to change your tactics in dealing with Alex and Paul. You yourself have labeled our 10 years of estrangement as a “tragedy”, why are you engaging in the EXACT SAME COURSE?
>
> There is hope for legitimate reconciliation with Alex, if you can forgive him for some things (which as Christians you are called to do). XXXXXXXXXXXXX.
>
> Anyway, in the future please just tell people it’s “none of  their business, it’s a family matter” in vs. attacking Alex, Paul’s, and even my credibility so I am not forced to humiliate all of us and bring light and proof to the truth.
>
> Geoff   **my #’s are below. I don’t expect to hear form either one of you, but I hope I do.

BOB CONTINUED TO PHYSICALLY ABUSE PAUL FOR 2 MORE YEARS AFTER THIS NON-APOLOGY APOLOGY. Bob did not repent…he tried to hedge his bets in case Geoff wound up with a career in the NFL…Bob’s SoCal Pastor buddies are big fans of any Sports Stars. Bob was verbally abusive to Paul and my mom…and a bully to Paul (and tried with me many times, without success) up until just over 5 years ago.

 Posted by at 8:19 pm
Jul 032010
 

Brutal Is...

My brother Paul, Bob’s son, shared this on another forum:

“I wanted to expound on what my brother wrote in regards to brutality. I haven’t commented publicly on this issue, but reading through these posts has brought up memories and feelings that I have tried to numb and forget.

I want to talk a bit about what it is to be brutal. Brutal is making your children watch while one of your brothers is beaten, punched and kicked. Brutal is laughing at your child after you have beaten and humiliated him in front of his family. Brutal is hitting your child with a wooden log all over his body. Brutal is making your children go in the backyard and “pick the switch” that they will be whipped with all over their backs and buttocks. Brutal is making your child count out loud the number of times they will be hit. Brutal is making your child thank you and tell them how wonderful and responsible it is that you just beat them. Brutal is locking your child in a small, dark closet. Brutal is punching your child in the face and then kicking him out his home because you are so afraid that it is going to be front page news that you are a child abuser disguised as a Pastor. Brutal is then kicking that child out and laughing at him because you have cut him off from his mothers and brothers. Brutal is not letting your wife talk to her son for 10 years. Brutal is threatening the rest of your children that they will be cut off if they talk to their estranged brother. Brutal is telling your child to put their hands behind their backs and that it is ok because you aren’t going to hit them. Brutal is then hitting that child in the face so hard that they fall to the ground. Brutal is humiliating, degrading, and psychologically torturing your children for hours on end and then calling it a day and expecting everything to go back to “normal”. Brutal is ruining your son and soon to be daughter-in-law’s wedding day because you refuse to take family pictures with your estranged son and behave like a grown, civilized adult. Brutal is making your child eat an entire pack of cigarettes and swallow them and laugh at them as they vomit and cry because they tried smoking in high school. Brutal is telling your children you don’t love them. Brutal is telling your children you wished they were never born and you never planned on having them. Brutal is beating one child so badly that they are scared and whimpering like a small animal, and then having another one of your children sit on your lap and profess how they are your favorite and how much you love them. Brutal is watching your older brother and sister-in-law in agony over the fact that they might lose their newborn baby boy. Brutal is watching your brother call your Mom to come down and your Mom not responding. Brutal is hearing from others how sad your Mom is that she doesn’t have a relationship with her children and grandchildren. Brutal is then seeing your Mom in public and having her walk right by you like she didn’t know you from Adam. Brutal is hearing that your youngest brother called one of his older brothers on Mother’s Day (not a great day for us) and having him glibly ask how his Mother’s Day is going.

Brutal is being told that you will not be allowed to see your dying grandmother. Brutal is hearing how hateful your Mother speaks of her 3 sons to her brother and sister-in-law who sit in horror at what is happening on their mother’s deathbed. Brutal is making sure that your brother, sister-in-law, 3 estranged children, grandchildren, nephew, and cousins aren’t invited to their grandmother’s funeral. Brutal is watching one of your best friends tell her mom and sisters about a terrible, evil thing that happened to her as a child. Brutal is watching that family go to counseling with their Pastor for guidance, love, and help. Brutal is then watching their Pastor, my father, humiliate this young woman and tell her the abuse was her fault. Brutal is kicking this family out of the church and watching your father spreading vicious lies about them. Brutal is watching your parents mock and criticize struggling missionaries behind their backs. Brutal is watching good, honest, struggling people go to their Pastor for counseling only to be chastised, humiliated, and slandered. Brutal is watching their Pastor then go to every church in town and meet with the Pastors to make sure these people will never worship anywhere in peace. Brutal is the behavior of someone that tortures their child so much that they feel their only escape is to end their life. Brutal is being abused on multiple levels by one parent. Brutal is having the other parent do nothing to stop it. Brutality is not knowing the love of God.

I will admit that it is not easy to forgive and have a heart of mercy. I am so thankful that God has been merciful and loving toward me in my life. I think we all struggle with keeping our emotions in check and trying to have the right attitude. I know it’s a daily struggle for me. My first reaction isn’t always the right one by any stretch of the imagination. I wanted to share these thoughts, experiences, and feelings because I know that Bob has not only hurt me, my brothers, but many of you who thought this was a Pastor and friend you could count on. It is one of the worst feelings experience such disappointment at the hands of someone you thought you could trust. Please know that there are so many of you out there and I remember what was done to you. I’m praying for you and please pray for me. “

 Posted by at 8:05 pm
Jul 032010
 

"Jar of change, feet of clay..."

“Your Mom”…here is the recounting I shared on the other forum about my earliest memory of abuse. This is taken from an excerpt in “the letter”…and is addressed to Bob:

“One of my earliest memories, that still haunts me to this day, is when we first moved into our new house on Josh Street in Eugene, Oregon. There was a large jar full of change located on the top of our refrigerator. I was five-years-old at the time and barely tall enough to reach an object on the top of the counter.

The jar full of change turned up missing one day and you accused me, of all people, of stealing it. I did not. When you accused me and I rightfully denied it, you spanked me. When you accused me again, and I denied it, you spanked me some more. When you accused me again, and I denied it, you spanked me some more…when you accused me again, and I denied it, you spanked me some more. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually beaten down…I finally lied to you and told you I stole the jar, so the beatings would stop.

That wasn’t enough for you, though.

You decided I had better go retrieve the jar of change…I must have hid it somewhere, you said. So, having no idea where it was, because I hadn’t stolen it…I desperately began searching anywhere my five-year-old mind could think of. Finally, with your direction, I ended up crawling in the muddy gutters of our neighborhood and reaching my short arms into storm drains in an effort to appease your blood-thirst for this jar of change. This experience was devastating to a five-year-old, and has left a deep permanent scar that is so clear it has haunted me my entire life. The irony is, that you later found out that the homeless bum you had put up in our house the night the change jar turned up missing, was the guy who stole it….and I received a brief apology from you when you finally made the brilliant connection. This experience quickly trained me to fear you, to distrust you and to learn to become a liar and a phony in order to appease you and your irrational, violent behavior.”

My son is on his way to five, my daughter is six…I shudder when I remember how intense Bob was and how many times he spanked me until I falsely confessed…and then to picture me making one of my kids wallow in a muddy gutter…in tears…reaching their arms into storm drains…after they’ve been spanked too many times to count…it breaks my heart…and then it makes me angry.

 Posted by at 8:00 pm
Jul 022010
 

Pastor Bob.

My name is Alex Grenier. I am the son of Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia. My brothers and I were physically abused by “Pastor Bob” for our entire time in his home. His board and elders, including Raul Ries (Calvary Chapel Golden Springs), Gary Ruff (Calvary Chapel Foothills) and David Rosales (Calvary Chapel Chino Valley) have ignored the allegations and the requests to have a face-to-face Matt.18 style meeting for Bob to answer his accusers and give his side of the story. Pastor Dave Rolph of Calvary Chapel Pacific Hills has agreed to mediate the meeting. Many requests have been made to Bob’s board, elders and staff…no response to date.

Bob is unrepentant and lying about his many abuses…both physically toward me and my brothers and my mother…and his spiritual abusiveness to many over the 30+ years he has been the pastor of Calvary Chapel Visalia.

Under his poor leadership and unrepentant condition, Bob and his close surrogates have given cult-like counseling, to attenders and former staff members of CCV, that has nearly led to suicide and has put a tremendous strain on marriages and family relationships. He has also been verbally abusive to former staff, assistant pastors and lay-people.

There are allegations of being “stoned on pills” and allegations from one of my brothers and former staff of having abused church finances.

I have personally witnessed and been the victim of the physical child abuse. We aren’t talking gray area here…clear cut State-defined abuse including, but not limited to: hitting with objects causing deep purple bruises on the lower back, backs of legs and buttocks. Drawing blood. Hitting in the face full force with the palm of the hand. Hitting in the face with a closed fist. Locking in a small closet. Kicking. Pushing into walls. Grabbing violently. Yelling and threatening and cursing. Beating over the entire body…head to toe…with the branch of a mulberry tree leaving cuts and bruises. The number of abusive acts are too numerous to count. The memories are quite painful. It was, literally, a living hell.

My brothers and I have witnessed Bob abusing our mom Gayle over the years as well. My brother Paul witnessed Bob on top of her with both hands on her throat choking her, my brother Geoff witnessed Bob striking her in the face with an open hand and we all witnessed (as a regular part of our growing up…very frequent) her being drug off to their back bedroom, door being locked, and Bob screaming and yelling at her…and the crying and sobbing that ensued (coming from my mom).

I personally began to confront the abuses within our family, privately, over six years ago. I met stiff resistance from Bob. I asked him to repent and change his behavior toward all of us. Instead of repenting, he denied the abuse and then continued more wrong behavior and began to lie and abuse further. I was not afforded a Matt.18 meeting with him and his board and elders as witnesses to address the allegations. I was cut off from all communication with him and my mom when I pressed the issue of abuse and continued to ask him to repent and stop mistreating our family. I was told to talk to Greg and Sue Dowds about it and to “put my thoughts in a letter”…instead of Bob communicating with me in person any longer. I resisted at first, and then met with Greg and Sue (Bob’s two right-hand surrogates) and gave Bob his “letter”. Bob did not like the “letter” very much.

I spent a long time in person with Greg and Sue, who basically heard most of the stories of abuse, saw my tears, saw the pain and frustration…and basically said, “We’re so sorry for you, now go your way and pray about it and leave it to the Lord. Nothing good can come of it now. It’s in the past. Don’t harm the church. Go pray about it. There are differences of opinion”…etc. This was the instruction and response from the main elder and board member of Calvary Chapel Visalia…Bob’s right-hand man…and his wife.

I went my way and prayed for 4 years. In August of 2009 my wife discovered a blog forum about people who had been “shown the door” by Bob/CCV…in this forum were accounts from people who had attended CCV who had been hurt by Bob and tossed aside. I read their stories, felt their pain…and I believed it was time to share my story. I began sharing and the blog exploded. More and more people began sharing their stories of Bob’s abuse and corruption. Many began contacting me privately. So many similarities and patterns of abuse. It truly makes me sick to realize Bob has gotten away with this stuff for over 30 years. Shame on Bob, shame on his board and elders. Shame on the Church.

1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 are in the Bible for a reason. So is 1 Timothy 5. Bob believes he is a “prophet of God”…well guess what Mr. Prophet, you are still accountable to the same Scripture as the rest of us Schmucks who listen to your teaching about “reaping and sowing”, “holiness”, “accountability”, “justice”, “mercy”…etc etc that you’ve taught over the years. You mock God by professing the truth with your lips and then acting like an abusive corrupt jerk behind the scenes. My call to Bob is the same as it was over 5 years ago in the “letter”…Confess and Repent. My call to the board and elders of CCV is, have the meeting. You are responsible Spiritually and legally (as a Non Profit organization) to address these serious allegations. If there is merit to these allegations, your charge is clear…Bob is disqualified from ministry in his lying unrepentant state.

There is now a front page article published by the Fresno Bee that can be found here:

http://www.fresnobee.com/2010/07/17/2010135/sons-of-visalia-preacher-allege.html

 Posted by at 2:23 pm