Blood son alleges sexual abuse by Pastor Bob Grenier Calvary Chapel Visalia
My name is Paul Grenier and I am the adult son of Bob and Gayle Grenier. Over the past few years, Bob Grenier’s private life has become very public. I believe one can only hide the skeletons in their closet for so long. Bob has a long history (30+ years) of slandering and maligning anyone who questions his authority or calls him out on his inappropriate behavior.
I have avoided making much public comment regarding the child abuse that took place in our home. I have spent many years trying to stay as far away from Bob, Gayle, and Robert as possible. However, the dysfunction and evil that pervades that family always seems to find a victim to attack. While they profess to be Christians, their actions are so contrary to the teachings of the Bible it is startling to me.
I have struggled with how to respond to the following allegations. I am a private person and for those of you who know me, you know this is something I do not take lightly. This will be my one and only public statement regarding this matter.
It has come to my attention that Robert Grenier is blogging on the internet and telling people in the community that I molested him when we were growing up. I deny this allegation in its entirety.
These are very troubling things to hear that one is saying about you. I unlike Bob will make a public statement to defend my character and reputation. I will also not ask anyone to take a side or defend me because I know the truth and that is all that matters. My point in making this statement is to go on the record and tell my story. People’s belief of disbelief of my story is of no consequence to me. Frankly, I don’t really care. I know what happened and that’s enough for me.
Robert was admitted to a mental health facility in the spring of 2004. He claimed to be suicidal and that he was hearing voices in his head telling him to hurt himself and others. I have no doubt he was hearing those voices as I have been a firsthand witness to his violent temper and inability to decipher fact from fiction. Robert is someone I avoided as a child, teenager, and now as an adult. He truly scares me.
The last time I saw Robert was about 5 years ago. He followed me in his car to my place of employment and proceeded to verbally assault me and went on to threaten my life. When Robert took a breath between cursing and screaming, I managed to ask him why he was following me and attacking me in this manner. He told me that he was angry at me, Alex, and Geoff for talking about Bob being a child abuser. I told Robert that my issue was not with him so not to make one with me. Robert told me he had waited outside my house at night on a number of occasions and that he wanted to kill me. I absolutely believe he would as he is one of the most unstable, violent individuals I have ever encountered.
A couple of years after this incident, Robert contacted one of my brother’s and asked for my cell number. Robert called me and we spoke on the phone. I wasn’t sure what to expect but he was friendly and kind of reminisced about our childhood. He kept telling me what a great childhood we had and how much he missed me, Alex, and Geoff. He even asked if he could come up to visit me where I was living. I let him talk and didn’t say much. I have a standing rule not to engage with unstable people so I kind of just got through the conversation the best I could.
I mention this conversation because it seems very odd to me that you would contact the person who allegedly abused you and reminisce about the good times and propose a visit. It certainly doesn’t ring true with my experience of avoiding any and all contact with my abuser.
I can only imagine that Robert is now making these allegations about me in an effort to protect Bob and Gayle. Robert has a history of making outlandish accusations against people and then later changing his story at the last minute. Since Robert has decided to spread such vitriol about me, I will now take the opportunity to share what I know about his past actions. I know Robert was at a party with a group of men and engaged in homosexual behavior in front of them. I witnessed Robert engaging in homosexual behavior with a friend of his while he was in high school. Robert had an affair with a woman whose husband was off fighting in the Iraq War. Robert lived at the Visalia Rescue Mission for a brief while because of his issues with drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity. Robert threatened bodily harm to a woman at Calvary for talking to his wife because he was concerned she might say something negative about his past actions. Robert like Bob has a lot to hide. And I would not be commenting on any of this had my hand not been forced. I have most recently heard that Robert has an inappropriate relationship with a teenage boy that attends Calvary. Quite often people that are pointing the finger and hurling accusations at people are themselves guilty of the very things they allege. If Robert’s intention was to humiliate me he has not succeeded. He has only succeeded in drawing an even bigger spotlight on himself, Bob, and Gayle and all of their wrongdoings.
I have agonized over what I am about to share. I was the victim of sexual abuse in our home at the hands of my father. That is all the detail I will give publicly.
I have spoken privately to some about it. I most recently spoke to a class action child abuse attorney along with my brother, Alex, and sister-in-law, Amy, about what was done to me. I would prefer not to share such a horrific thing I lived through but I continue to be attacked and maligned by Bob, Gayle, and Robert. I feel that at every turn I have tried to take the high road and be as gracious as possible. I have been backed in a corner and have no choice but to make a public statement.
If you attend Calvary Chapel Visalia I would keep your children as far away from Bob and Robert as possible. They are both evil people who will not give a second thought to hurting you and will actively try to destroy your life. Bob has ruined multiple family relationships and marriages in his tenure at Calvary.
This last summer there were a number of articles that ran in the Visalia Times-Delta and Fresno Bee. A handful of people rushed to Bob’s defense and I still remember their quotes about Bob’s strong character and how they did not believe me and my brothers’ account of abuse. I would like to take this opportunity to tell those people that I find it repulsive that you would rush to the defense so irresponsibly of a person who has committed some serious crimes against children and should be rotting in a jail cell. I further find it absurd that you would even feign knowledge of what happened in our home when you’ve never even spoken to me about what happened. It is this reckless group of people that blindly defend the lunatic in the pulpit at Calvary that I find disgusting. If I sound angry, I am. What an exercise in futility for Bob’s staff and followers to stand by and defend him when they’ve never even spoken to the victims. Shame on you.
And shame on you Gayle for allowing all this abuse to happen on your watch. I don’t even know how you live with yourself. You out of everyone are probably the most abhorrent person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. I can’t begin to imagine what kind of mother would stand by and let these ongoing episodes of violence and abuse happen to her children. I hope you live in shame the rest of your life for what you allowed to happen. To some this may sound harsh, but I have had to live with this shame and these scars for many years as well. My brothers and I were the victims. Not Bob and Gayle as they would like you to believe. We were innocent children that were terrorized in every way imaginable by the monster that is Bob Grenier. Gayle knows it and chose to defend this monster and I hope when she looks in the mirror she sees the monster she allowed herself to become for defending her husband.
Bob also has a history of encouraging people not to come forward about sexual abuse. A close friend of mine was kicked out of the church and told by Bob that she instigated the sexual abuse that was committed against her by her step-father. This was the counseling she received from Bob after coming forward as an adult. It makes me nauseated when I think about it. And if you attend Calvary or are on Bob’s staff it should make you sick too. And if it doesn’t trouble you then I pray for your soul.
I no longer live in Visalia so that I can be as far away from Bob, Gayle, and Robert as possible. Yet all these years later, they still will pick a fight and character assassinate the victim. Well that all stops today.
I will say this and say it once. I was raised by the Bob the monster. I survived it. I was raised by a drug addicted, abuse condoning, abhorrent mother. I survived it. I grew up with a mentally disturbed younger brother. I survived it. I have been slandered and maligned by Bob’s inner circle. I survived it. I can promise you this: anything Bob, Gayle, and Robert throw my way. I will survive it and be stronger because of it. Bob could not break my will and spirit when I was a child and he nor anyone else associated with him will be able to do so today.
Bob, Gayle, and Robert want a fight. They’ve got one and a worthy opponent in me. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction. If I have to spend the rest of my life defending myself against them and keeping them out of my life I will do it. And I will survive that too.
In closing, if they continue to come after me publicly they had better bring their best game. Because I will not lie down and take it. Rather, I will fight back and shout from the rooftops what Bob did to me so the whole world knows what a monster he is. I have nothing to lose by telling the truth. Many of you know that Bob always goes after a person the hardest when they have the worst information on him. This is what they have done and continue to do me. I will not start a fight…but I sure as hell will not back down from one when it calls into question my character and integrity.